*”guess who’s back” sings Eminem in the bg…*
(read this only if you are jobless. dont blame me later)
(read this only if you are jobless. dont blame me later)
A new year at PESIT starting off- how can I NOT post some blah blah on my blog? One more week to college and here I am, back with my predictions for various ppl around me.
And yeah, as usual- “The following is absolutely real and non ficticious. Its certified and verified by Paul, The octopus (the oracle you fool!). Any resemblance to any person dead or about to die is BLOODY intentional. Gimme a ring b4 coming to beat me up, I’ll hire my lawyers! “
And guys, this one’s REALLY long! So you cud just read up abt ppl u knw :P
First, with all due respect to the geeks in my branch (:D), I start off with u ppl-
· I,me myshelph- Continues stealing food from both anushas- One, being my unlawfully wedded wife, Anusha Gargi, and the other, my galfren, Anusha “Best Machi” Kulkarni ;-)
· Anusha “Masakalli” Kulkarni- now better known as Kuki Shenoy( after the secret ceremony in Vietnam
· Anusha “Teddy” Gargi- Is now frantically trying to save her marriage with me, by cooking up impossibly delicious meals, to impress me and keep me away from my galfren. Her attempts seem to work.. deliciously…! And she also starts classical singing classes for those who aim to take part in VOI :D
· Nikhita “nikki-bhat” Kalibhat- my part-time doting daughter, part-time “louve”. She starts off her own company that deals with repairing Dead or Old CRO’s in the instrumentation Lab, from all that she earned as Leena’s SAP. (what a waste gal- u cudve sponsored my new Tupperware…)
· Nidhi A Nidhi- “SDBJquowedfhwk3tm-HNS-HNS-HNS-3o twopjcioand.hgsxnjuqw3bdfil4ghf”- (did somebody record that?? We can replay it….slowly… SHE TALKS SO FAST!!) :P. Poor thing still can’t get over the fact that Dr. HNS has left… Sweetie… life goes on… :-|
· Aishwarya “Balika Vadhu” Rajendran- She’s overwhelmed on being offered the female lead role in PAAA-2… Paaaaaapaaaaaa……
· Harshitha- she donates a barrel of blood to the poor and needy in some remote part of Africa . This virtuous act helps her win MR. Bangalore Times ( She beat Akshatha Shenoy!! Whoa??!!)
· Prateek “Colourful” Raj- “Haan Saab… aapka naam suna hai…” He’s the designer for the new brand of Mens wear. Whats special??- They’re PINK!! Yayaya!! :D *blush blush*
· Pradyut Prateek- Buys a new oven and cooks pizzas for all of us :-D. he also takes special vaccination –he’s now immune to head cold and cough! Wow!
· Sahana- Her Kannada classes are now being aired on TV9.(you cud catch snippets on “Heegu Unte”?!)
· Vivek “VTU” TU- He’s busy completing his manuscript “How to Bake Cookies using laws of motion, Backward in time”. He’s also volunteered to conduct the certificate courses, now that Dr. HNS has left…
· Varun VK-completed his internship at Wills… :P
· Yaaathish “VLCC” Ganguli- he’s now attached with few weights to keep himself grounded. The 6th floor gets too windy you know… :P. Btw he’s also being chased by Coll teachers coz of his jokes in Coll mad ads team “Yum-Yum”
· Aashik Pee- Gets a job at Radio One 94.3. twas easy coz he interned there as electrician durin hols! :P
· Abdul “Hyderabadi” Mujeem- Replaces ‘Sultan something’ in Radio Ones ‘Sultan school of speechaa’, thru influence and help from Aashik. (Thanks bah Abdullah! Ab mai bhi Hyderbadi boltu bah! High class hindi sikhatha tumma!! Kaiku baath nahi karta tumma?)
· Varun “Beans” Kaundinya- is visiting faculty in sahan’s kannada classes. he was also seen with a purple eye (was punched by a really tall gal it seems… “What the frock!!?”. Yes dude. I’ll brutally beat you up and hang your body upside down in the gals loo…. It wont even luk suspicious!!)
· Anand “Yemmay” MS-
· Samarth Agarwal- He uses all his engineering and basketball skills to build a mobile phone that’s invisible to teachers (“It’s boring!”!!- quite a scandal tht was!). and yeah, he turns vegan now, doesn’t eat mosquitoes, only fruit salads.
· Sumit “from assam” Agarwal- MISSING-MISSING-MISSING- Fair boy, 5’8”, Skinny build, Pointy Hair (aich!). if anyone sees this boy, pls report to hostel warden. Reward- one week’s worth of coffee at Nescafe :D
· Shubham “Gattu” Hurket- Ow. He’s in ISE na… hmm… you must be staring at Ms. Vijaykala now! Lolz!! I miss her!
Now for Nautanki <3… just existing….
· I, me, myselph- stop yelling “nautankeeeeee” wen it comes to gr8 ideas. The other team members, to be safe from my hands while I’m talking, tie my hands and tape my mouth… mmph… mppphhh!!!
· Ajit “Ajeebhai!” Jain- he replaces Aishwarya Rai for a famous Hair care brand! With that Silky hair of yours… “You’re Worth It!”
· Soushna “Matha” Bagchi- this “Bond Bong Girl” opens acting classes for the 1sht year children. Two kids have been reported to faint out of fear and temporary deafness.
· Varun “KJo” Gupta- Elopes with Ashwin. was last seen at PES bus stand, doing “choochi-wuchchi”. Soushna’s Pink duppatta is missing... Also he wins Ms. Bangalore Times contest :P
· Thyba “Tiger” Khan- “ Showstopper” of Nautanki. Akshatha and she have opened salsa classes for drop outs from soush’s class! (Samaay is a visiting faculty!)
· Samaay “Cool-Dude” Mangalgiri- “Thyba. Thyeebaaa. THYEEEEEBBBBAAAAAA!!!!! Come here THYBAAAA- *censored-censored-censored*)
· Agrim ”Angry Boy” Banerjee- has been given “lifetime achievement award” at VTU fest for his anger outbursts!
· Niranjan Mukherjee- “Oh Mighty Lord! Oh Draconian Devil! Oh…..” (the rest of the speech cannot be typed. You gotta HEAR it to get the essence of it). And we finally teach him the SRK’s Korbo Lorbo dance! Pains we take for frens I tell you!
· Niranjan T Arya-this viscious script writer is arrested by PES guards for “whistling”.
· Vineet- He’s eagerly waiting for IPL 6.0. he’s finalized the cast for the new spoof!
· Shami “Kar Aayi”- She’s having nightmnares of the asylum play we did at VTU. And finds a 1st year gal who other teammates nick-name ‘Shami-part-3’! (who was Sahmi part 2?)
Other Pes Praani’s- your turn
· I,me,myseplh- is admitted to the nearest hospital on grounds of food poisoning in canteen…
· Mohammed “Billu, Bilaalu” Bilal- S&H dept has scrapped off CAD from syllabus. Now Bilal conducts Drawing and Painting classes for 1sht year childrensss. PES security gurads, Nescafe and Canteen walllas attend on ‘Reservation Quota’.
· Bharat- Continues teaching mech stuff to kuki and me, although we see stars and hav absolutely no clue of wat he’s saying.
· Priyanka “Punk” Manchanda- the poor gals missing. Was last seen on her Dio, brakes failed…. (We gotta discuss about the ‘common boys’)
· Arkal Arjun Rao- has gone into hiding coz he’s scared of me screaming death threats at him!!!
· Akriti Kedia- has bought ‘27 dresses’- not cds. Real ones. She has dates labeled on dem as to what she’d wear wen….
· Saumil Agrawal- Is still looking for a publisher for his book. ‘D Mediocre’ ;) (C… m getting yo book attention J)
Finally, FINALLY Teachers ( I don’t hav any teachers on my frens list.But if Any of em asks- My account is Hacked. Ok?)
· HoD- Her latesht line of Sarees and seeeraes are recognized and appreciated by ‘The Great Fashion House Of France’. Paris
· Leena”Zero Crossing Detector”- She approaches Vivek TU for all doubts asked in class by Nikhita Kalibhat And me… (@Harshitha- did we name her Decade Resistor Box or CRO last time? And did she overhear us trying to speak abt Shenoy Sir in telugu or tamil??)
· KR Savitri- She Still hates me for my existence. What haven’t I done to impress her? Served hot-hot tea to blind kids from Samarthanam, COMPLETED CS RECORDS( Dude! Thtas lotta work!), Kept quiet during her lectures in Lab, “Pleeshh. Pleesh. I mean you no harm! Undershtoood??”
· Rekha- She avoids lifts and takes the stairs. Reason- “Bipasha Basu says so in her Ad. Fitness….”. (Varun Gupta, Pradyut Pratik and I know wat the REAL reason is….Sob Sob!)
· RGB- to Akshatha’s horror, is AGAIn appointed EWD head. *looks for a place to bang her head*
· Dr. SHL” Gyrator”- is impressed by how much weight he lost by walking around the class soo fasht! “So… what I yam trying to establish he(a)re iiis… th(y)at the establishment of the statement henceforth is imp(a)rtent for …..” (rest is subdued by the snoring and realms of deep sleep). And for the record- I DON’T WANT TO BE YO SAP!!
· Dr. HNS- Error- File missing----Try searching the disk label: CMRIT (“Shut yo tr**, tuck yo tails into yo a***”) (Nidhi…. You really miss him don’t you?? :\)( @all- he was the greatest teacher I’ve ever met. Not joking. Brilliantesht mathematician. Besht Besht Sir!!)
· PM- Bachaoooo!! The dude’s hell bent on coming to the other lab batches and doing ‘Samoohik Balatkar’ through VIVA. Sir! Hum Aapko Dhang ka jawab denge. Not to worry. Par aap dhang ka sawal tho poocho bhai!!
· Ms. Sahana- She’s seen haunting the aisles of the new library hunting for the perfect book to mug up an answer to a question I’d asked “Whats a gyrator ma’am?” ”hrbbggghbhhh…. blah blah blah” (This ones a dedication to my ‘Louve’)(I cudve posted more on her but my blog space is limited! DANG!!)
· Ms. (Wig)geetha- last year we saw her with white hair as opposed to black hair in the last-last year. This year, she dyes her hair pink! (What ya Prateek? So much influence eh?! Lady GeeGee…)
And other PES Vastugalu:
· Canteen prices soo high, now kids buy Toordal from outside and cook it in the chemistry lab.
· Security guards now paid to sumne whistle for no reason
· The OAT is now a monument. To sit there, we need to pay 5 rupees to the guards. (you cud see lover-names carved in those ancient stones)
· The parking lot, now extended to hav PES buses parked there( they’r now Volvos. To pay bus fees, one of my frens pawned her jewellery…!)
If you get to read this, it means I’m grateful to you for reading the whole thing without falling asleep! :P
Lets just brace ourself for the ulitimate God-knows -what tht PEShIT has in store for us! Until next time (pray it aint
longer than this! ;))
